Part I: From Rukongai to Seireitei
by Sarah Mercury
Summary: After her grandmother dies, Hiroki Sakina sets off on an adventure to become a shinigami. Along the way, she meets a rather aggressive shinigami, who unwittingly shows her more than just the way to Seireitei. ZarakixOC. Rated for mild language.
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes**: Though I'm sure you'll know the lead male character is Kenpachi, his name is never mentioned. I guess I just figured that introductions were not as important as the main story line. And also, even though if I ever have a daughter in RL I would want her to be just like Yachiru, I am ashamed to admit she does not appear here. This is because I wanted the friendship to _develop_ between the two main characters, and I couldn't do that with a bubbling, high-on-sugar little girl bouncing around.

Finally, I understand how hard it is, and sometimes how annoying it is, to have an OC in any fan fiction, but considering I have been working on this for a while, and only just decided to post it, I will throw caution to the wind and hope my OC doesn't upset you too much.

If you heed these minutiae and still feel like reading my story, I thank you, and hope you enjoy it. Also, the whole first part is written, so while I write the second part, I will, over time, post the first part.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any Bleach related characters, references, situations, etc.

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"_I sent my soul through the invisible,__  
__some letter of that afterlife to spell;__  
__and by and by my soul returned to me,__  
__and answered, "I myself am Heav'n and Hell_."

--_Omar Khayyam_

**Part I**: **Prologue**

There's a common misconception that once life ends, that's it. No more stories, no more adventures, and no where else to go. Once it's gone, it's gone, and there's no coming back. Such a statement is partially true, but not entirely. Many beliefs have different points of view, but the be all and end all is the same: death is only the beginning.

Assuming there is a fantastic afterlife where joys are immeasurable by mortal standards is a limited way of thinking. Assuming there is an 'afterlife', period, is also limited, for once dead, there is no life; not even an after one. Nevertheless, it is not too impossible to believe such an existence could be classified as an 'afterlife', since one exists beyond the mortal idea of 'life'. In all honesty, it is difficult to explain exactly the meaning of what happens upon one's death, since language is limited to a mortal's point of view, which, of course, is already limited.

But for the purposes of this story, limited or otherwise, such terms are the only ones to work with and will have no choice but to be used. Thus attention will be turned to the original point: death is only the beginning of one's journey.

On that note, the journey of Hiroki Sakina actually begins not upon her entrance to Soul Society, the 'afterlife', but with the departure of her grandmother, Nana Kira. She wasn't really her grandmother, of course. Sakina entered Soul Society with no recollection of her time on Earth, save for that it was good. She was so young when Nana Kira found her that she was scarcely able to form coherent sentences.

And after almost three centuries of raising her as her own granddaughter, Nana Kira was finally saying her goodbyes. For even in Soul Society, souls are able to cease to exist. But Sakina did not want her to go. The elder woman found her granddaughter on the far reaches of Sector 3, in Rukongai. Knowing how dangerous the slums of Soul Society can be, especially to someone so young, she raised her in her decrepit home, giving the young girl one simple rule: she must never leave the house.

Nana Kira did not want Sakina to get hurt, so she felt that if she stayed inside, she could protect her. She would go out every morning to get water, and be back to tutor the young girl, teaching her to read and write, among other things. While Nana Kira was away, Sakina would work around the house, to keep it clean and in pleasant condition. All she ever knew was that house, and as long as Nana Kira was there, the young girl never felt fear.

But if Nana Kira was dying, so to speak, Sakina would know fear. Who would protect her or tutor her now? How would she get nourishment? Would she then have to leave the house? Sakina had never seen Rukongai, save for what she saw out the window or the pictures from her study books. Would the poor, desperate people Nana Kira always talked about and tried to protect her from now come to raid her home? It always seemed as if Nana Kira had an aura about her that repelled all others, for even though, at night, Sakina could hear the recklessness and rioting of the people on the street, they never came near her home. And when it got truly bad, when Sakina would crawl into bed with her grandmother, it seemed far away and nonexistent.

All these points, though valid, did not stop her grandmother from dying. She told Sakina that her only regret in life was to not show her granddaughter the outside world. She would have to see it for herself, and hope that no harm befalls her as her journey begins. Although Sakina was naturally sweet, Nana Kira made her promise not to immediately trust anyone, for anyone could try to hurt her.

There was only one other promise Nana Kira made Sakina make that day: to leave Rukongai by becoming a shinigami. To go from a girl who never saw even Rukongai and was tutored by her grandmother for three centuries to a shinigami who was supposed to be worldly as well as possess incredible spirit power that Sakina obviously did not have was impossible. But even though she brought this up to her grandmother, the elder woman would not back down. She saw in Sakina a great potential that the girl did not see herself. It would be flourished by a more intensive training than Nana Kira could ever give her. Becoming a shinigami would be the only thing that would give Nana Kira peace.

After the promise was sealed, Nana Kira closed her eyes and became still. Her soul had deceased. Her spirit energy was gone. Through her tears, Sakina watched her grandmother disappear from sight, leaving her alone, as night was falling, and the sounds of rioting bubbled up from the silence. And now that her only means of protection was gone, Hiroki Sakina no longer felt safe in her own home…


	2. Chapter 1

"_Adventure must start with __running away__ from home_." -- _William Bolitho_

**Part I: Chapter 1**

She left through the back door of her home, after she heard someone pound on the front not ten minutes after Nana Kira died. She had just enough time to bring with her only a few things; a small flask of water, a scroll that had a map of Rukongai Nana Kira said she made herself, a picture of a butterfly Sakina drew when she was a toddler, and finally a dagger that Nana Kira brought with her whenever she left home. The hilt was blue, like Nana Kira's eyes, and reminded her of her late grandmother. Besides, it was the only means of protection she had now.

Wearing a cloak her grandmother wore when she went outside, Sakina travelled the dark streets of Rukongai, avoiding eye contact whenever possible. She walked hurriedly, but tried not to look like she was in a rush. She didn't want people to wonder for too long why she was out at night. The sounds of rioting were all around her; the distinct smell of fires invaded her nostrils. Screams, sarcastic laughter and especially pain and violence kept getting closer and closer to her, the further and further away she got from her home in Sector 3.

She didn't know how she was supposed to keep her promise to her grandmother without knowing where she was or especially where she was going. She didn't dare stop running to look at her map until she was sure she was safe away from the rioting. Unfortunately, she only seemed to be getting into it more and more with each step. But as long as she was running, she felt safe. At least, until she tired, for even a soul, who did not technically have a physical body to feel tired from, still required rest and water to sustain itself.

Sakina looked around for a spot to rest. The fires were being doused by angry victims, while the perpetrators laughed and ran off in different directions, carrying with them everything they could steal from the now-charred homes. She dodged a man brandishing a stick, threatening a little boy who looked ready to attack him. She saw a home that looked abandoned for some time and ran behind it, hidden from the dying flames and sounds of agony. There was a forest in front of her now, but she did not enter it. Her grandmother told her that anything dark and imposing was to be feared, for one did not know what was in it.

So, while catching her breath in a hunched position, but not sitting for safety's sake, she took out her map and began to study it. Of course, though accurate and detailed as it was, Sakina still did not know where she was by looking at it. She figured it may have been an old map, as there was no indication of burnt houses or even of any forests near Sector 3. Unless she had been running for so long that she was no longer in Sector 3, at which case finding where she was or where she was going would be even more difficult. Therefore, she would have no choice but to ask someone where she was.

Nana Kira warned her to never speak to strangers and to never underestimate anyone she met. So she was cautious as she came out from behind the building. Wherever she had run to now seemed quieter than when she first arrived. There was still the smell of fire and smoke in the air, and every now and then someone would shout something, a threat or a plea, but in general, the area was different. It didn't make Sakina feel better, however; only more suspicious. There had to be a reason why all the sounds of rioting were dimmed.

Nevertheless, after walking out into view more, and making her hunched, timid appearance more noticeable, she saw three people standing in what looked like the middle of the street. Two of them were fairly tall men, not muscular but no less intimidating, wearing tattered shirts and leather pants. Each of them wore a scabbard at their side with a curved blade in it. In fact, the two men looked almost identical, as if they were mirror images of each other. The person in between them was fairly short, even more so than Sakina. She was an elderly woman, who Sakina almost identified as her own grandmother. She looked soft, despite her aged face, and rested her weight upon a cane.

Sakina slowly walked up to them, stopping a few feet away, pulling her black cloak closer to her body, as an unconscious instinct of protection. The two men flanking the old woman made no movement, but the elder woman smiled slightly when Sakina approached. Sakina felt somewhat at ease in her presence. She asked, "Can you please help me?"

"Of course," replied the old woman. Her voice sounded hoarse, as if her throat was ripped. It certainly didn't remind Sakina of her grandmother, who had a soft, almost silky voice.

Sakina made a quick glance at the two men, who still did not move. She said, "I would like to know where I am. And, if you know, which direction to go in order to get to Seireitei."

"Oh, dear. Are you lost?"

Her somewhat genuine concern, although Sakina missed the sarcasm, prompted her to reply, "Yes, ma'am."

"And you're going to Seireitei. Oh, dear. Are you not a shinigami?"

"I…" Sakina stopped. Her grandmother's words echoed in her mind to be wary of strangers, but the old lady was smiling at her, and her suspicion seemed to fade to black, considering how much she reminded Sakina of Nana Kira. So she continued, "Not yet, ma'am. I plan to be someday."

"Someday," the woman repeated. Then she laughed. There was no mistaking the sarcasm this time. Sakina backed up slightly. She should have just kept running. She felt tempted to pull out her dagger, but something else her grandmother taught her was that she should never show anyone her true strength unless absolutely necessary, and since the old lady posed little threat, and the two men flanking her made no move towards her, there was a good chance she could simply run away. And so she did.

Or at least she tried. As soon as she turned her back and dashed, she heard the sound of fingers being snapped and in mere seconds after that, the two stationary men had grabbed her and pinned her to the ground. Her level of fear jumped as she realized how little she could move, even to defend herself. And in that moment, the defenceless old woman seemed much more threatening.

She could hear her move closer to her, the sound of her cane hitting the ground echoing off the fallen buildings in the quiet, ominous atmosphere. As she approached, the old lady clicked her tongue and said, "Poor, poor little girl. Lost and afraid. Why would you be out so late in this case?"

Sakina felt like crying, but didn't dare. Her first night on her own and she was already in this much trouble. If she survived, she vowed she would never trust another soul again, just as her grandmother warned. She tried moving again, but the two men had her pinned very well. "Stand her up," the old lady ordered, harshly. One man backed off as the other practically threw Sakina on her feet. He held her arms behind her back, to avoid a possible attack.

With another snap of the woman's fingers, the man who had backed off began to rifle through the pockets of Sakina's cloak, pulling out her water, map and butterfly picture. "Those are mine!" Sakina snapped. The old lady frowned at her and gestured quickly with her hand. The man dropped what he had stolen and punched Sakina in the stomach. She was unable to recoil, however, because one of the twins was still holding her in a standing position. She did cough and tried to catch her breath.

The man who had punched her bent to pick up the dropped items. He handed the flask of water to the old lady, who stuffed it in her own cloak. With the map and picture, he ripped them into tiny pieces before Sakina's eyes and all three of them laughed at her horrified face. Her most prized possession and her only means of direction were destroyed, flitting in the wind of the still charred area she was in.

Only after they were done laughing did they let her go. She knelt down, finally able to grab her stomach in pain, as the old lady muttered, "Poor little girl is lost and can never find her way." The walked away, seemingly into the night, and disappeared, almost as if they never existed in the first place. All the fires were gone, and all the light dispersed, leaving her in the dark, on a quiet, ominous street, without water or a map, or a picture to keep her hopeful.

All she had was a dagger, and the relief that they only searched her cloak, and not her person. She suddenly felt so exhausted that she almost didn't bother getting up. But she did not want a repeat of what just happened, so, despite her aching muscles and tired mind, she got off the ground and rose to her feet, looking around for any kind of sign of where to go.

But all she saw was a deserted city and a forest behind it. Her brain started debating with itself. Should she go into the forest to try to rest, or continue wandering around in the dark until she found out where she was? She didn't want to go into a place so intimidating, fearing what her grandmother taught her, but considering an old lady was her biggest threat thus far, she decided that maybe the scary forest wasn't as scary as first glance deemed.

Therefore, limping a bit from the pain of being punched in the stomach, she made her way to the forest and walked in. Whatever darkness there was on the street was nothing compared to the absolute darkness of the forest. The light from the moon and stars were completely hidden beneath the tall, dark trees. She could not see her hand in front of her face, and relied on her senses to keep from tripping on roots, or smashing into trees.

Finally, after running the whole night, being attacked and mugged, and not being able to drink anything since her grandmother's death, the full force of her exhaustion caused Sakina to throw caution to the wind and trust that if it was too dark for her than it was too dark for robbers to see her. She carefully sat herself down on the ground and curled up, resting her head on her arm. She was asleep almost instantly…


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you to **dokuki** for the kind review! You're my inspiration from now on. Enjoy!

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"_And if tonight my soul may find her peace  
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,  
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower  
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created_."  
--_D.H. Lawrence_

It is hard to describe the phenomenon of 'dreaming' when it is used for a soul. For a living creature, a dream is when the brain replays the day's events in often complex ways to the mind's eye. But for a soul, who does not technically have a brain, nor really a mind's eye, it is difficult to explain how or why it happens. Nevertheless, even a soul, once asleep, can have a complex replaying of the day.

The memory of being mugged was still fresh in Sakina's head when she fell asleep, and as if Fate were playing a cruel joke on her, her dreams consisted of reliving that horror over and over again, in worse and worse ways. When she tried to scream, to awaken, no noise would escape her lips, allowing the dream to continue unmolested.

In fact, it wasn't until a very faint _SNAP_ echoed through the forest that Sakina was able to break free from her unconscious mind. She woke up with a start, at first forgetting where she was. It was still dark, but not as much as it was when she first entered the forest. It was most likely getting to be dawn, because rays of lights were peaking through some of the treetops. The _SNAP_ sound she heard was probably a twig being stepped on, and although two days ago she would have assumed a squirrel or some other animal made the noise, today she immediately thought the worst and jumped to her feet instantly.

She also decided not to take any more chances and took out her dagger from the deep pocket on her pants. She was still fumbling with the scabbard when the source of the noise made himself known. He walked leisurely into view, as if he owned the forest, or simply as if there was no fear within it. He also had a bored expression, as if he had walked into the forest, and into view, a billion times before. He was much, _much_ taller than Sakina and even taller than the two men last night. He was also broader, in both the shoulders and the body, with a look that seemed to her as if he were chiselled out of steel.

He walked purposefully, not caring whether he was quiet or not, nor caring who noticed him or not. And although he held his head up, in search of a potential ambush, he did not raise his nose to the air, making Sakina believe he was not a noble, and most likely not of high birth. That small, miniscule relief did not ease her, however, as she stood motionless, as if the newcomer was an animal that sensed movement. Her own breathing stopped as well, again, assuming that he would hear it.

But it was not any noise she made that got his attention. Her body was radiating with fear. For even as the old woman of last night at least smiled, and the two men flanking her were slim and feeble-looking, this man before her held no amusement, sarcastic or otherwise, and was certainly not slim and feeble. And it was that animalistic quality, the ability to smell fear, which made him turn his thick, strong head towards her direction.

She gasped slightly and suddenly realized she was holding a weapon that had yet to be unsheathed. She couldn't keep her hands from shaking. She looked at his, strong and tough; they were big enough to wrap around her neck and snap it without an effort. She stood, waiting for him to attack, but unlike the rioters of last night, he didn't move or speak. He just stared at her. He stared the way a cat stares at a mouse just before leaping at it.

She couldn't hear him breathing, but that was mostly due to her own haggard breaths, each one filled with more fear than the last. The wind blew through the foliage, causing the sounds of leaves to tumble to and fro, but an even more interesting sound: _SHHING_-_DING_-_ding_. The confusion of the origin of this sound stopped her fear for a moment. Every time the wind blew, the sound came again. It took her a few seconds to realize what it was.

Bells.

It was the sound of bells. And it wasn't until the wind blew a fourth time ("_SHHING_-_DING_-_ding_") that she realized where the bells were: in his hair. On the end of each spike of his jet-black hair was a bell. Why he would put bells in his hair she couldn't guess, but at least it distracted her enough to finally pull her dagger out of its scabbard and appear more frightening than some defenceless animal. She even tried frowning and narrowing her brow.

Unfortunately, the only thing that did was to show the cat that she had claws. And the very strong, muscular man before her laughed at her vain attempt to look scary. It made Sakina angry, but she didn't show it. She just held her dagger like it was the last piece of life she had. His laughter boomed through the forest, scaring birds that just woke up to the dawn, shook the very treetops, making loose leaves fall all around the little mouse with the dagger.

"Quit that!" Sakina demanded, determined to keep her voice from shaking. He obeyed, but still stared at her, with a sarcastic grin. She found it curious how he could hold her gaze so fixedly with only one eye, as the other was covered with a patch. In fact, the only good eye itself had a scar cutting vertically across it. It made Sakina feel slightly hopeful; that he could receive such an injury meant he was not invincible.

Of course, after last night, she also was no longer naïve enough to believe that _she_ could take him down. But at least with the dagger, she might be able to get away unscathed. The only problem was that even if she could get away, where would she go? Her map was gone and she didn't even know what Sector she was in, or how to get to Seireitei. And if she managed to get away from this man, there was no guarantee that some other person in some other place would mug her again on her way to Seireitei.

Remembering her ultimate destination sharpened her courage, which allowed her to see past the man's towering presence and instead realize what he was wearing: a black kimono with a white sash. And on his back, covered in cloth, was a katana, which, of course, made Sakina's dagger look like a butter knife.

She licked her lips in an effort to keep them from quivering. She managed to utter, "Are you a shinigami?"

"Yeah," he replied, bored and uncaring.

The admission was actually more confusing to her than frightening. She asked, "Why, then, are you not exploding with spirit energy?"

He snorted, again, bored and uncaring. "I'm holding it back. Otherwise I'd kill someone as weak as you with it."

She blushed with embarrassment at the insult and then resumed her original cornered-animal pose. "I'm not going to let you mug me."

He grunted. "I don't care about weaklings."

"I'm not weak!" she growled.

He sighed, annoyed. "This is boring." He turned his back on her and took a step away. She had a dagger pointed at him, and still he turned away from her. Even though that would have been the best time to try to attack, she knew that if she tried, he would have impaled her with his sword before she even took a step. Lightning-fast reflexes and superior fighting skills were the best trades of a shinigami. Something that Sakina lacked. Something that may prevent her from becoming a shinigami herself.

Assuming, of course, she could even find her way to Seireitei.

She decided to take a chance; a stupid, immature, naïve chance. The last, desperate act of a weak, lost girl in an unknown forest, after setting foot in Rukongai for the first time in three centuries. She shouted, "Halt!" and walked up to the retreating man before her, grabbing his kimono from the back. And the thing that surprised her most was _not_ that he decided to forgo running her through, but instead that he actually halted. There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence, in which the wind rustled through the trees again.

_SHHING_-_DING_-_ding_.

Something Sakina learned when her grandmother was tutoring her was that spirit energy, or 'reiatsu', is a wholly unique source of power; one individual's reiatsu would be completely different from another's, and strength, especially among shinigami, was calculated not by physical brawn, but by how much reiatsu one had over another. Sakina, for example, had very little reiatsu, whereas this man had a lot. Even by just grabbing a fistful of his kimono could she feel the dramatic difference in power.

She felt glad that he was holding his true power back.

He started laughing again, but this time, it was more guttural; almost threatening. "And how can I help you, _Okami_?"

She ignored his sarcasm. "You are going to first tell me where I am, and second you are going to take me to Seireitei."

"Why should I do either?"

She swallowed. "If you don't, you'll regret it."

He laughed again, louder. Sakina winced. "You do realize that compared to me, you are nothing more than a rat puffing up in order to appear more threatening. I could crush you without even trying."

"Then why haven't you?"

"I told you before: I don't care about weaklings. They are not worth my time. However, if you keep pestering me, I may incapacitate you; to get you out of my way."

She swallowed the lump of fear rising in her throat. "Um, look: all I want is to get to where I'm going. My map was -" She stopped, licked her lips and tried again. "I just don't want to get mugged again. And even though this dagger makes me feel slightly better, if my grandmother was right, it probably won't stop the majority of the rioters. So you are going to take me to Seireitei, where I can become a shinigami, and never have to worry about getting mugged again."

"You think rioters and getting mugged are the worst possibilities you can face?" he asked, gruffly. "And do you actually believe all your problems will go away after becoming a shinigami?"

She whispered, "At least that way I can have some protection, now that my grandmother is dead."

_SHHING_-_DING_-_ding_.

"This is Sector 5," he said, softly. Or at least as softly as his masculine, raspy voice could get. "Seireitei is further north from here."

"Thanks." She let go of his kimono and all the reiatsu she felt through it disappeared from her hand, her body, and she suddenly felt very weak. She stood, looking around the forest. The rays of light were becoming larger and brighter. The day was wearing on, and Sakina was thirstier than she had ever been before. She decided that if she got going on her journey, she could probably ignore it. Unfortunately, she didn't know which way was north, as every directions looked the same.

She heard some rustling and instinctively jumped a bit. After hearing a sigh, one filled with annoyance and boredom, she realized that the man had started walking away again. She didn't know what possessed her to follow him; perhaps his reiatsu gave her warmth and strength that she did not have herself, or maybe it was simply because as a shinigami, he was bound to go to Seireitei sometime, and following him would take her there eventually.

The fact that he did nor speed up or tell her to go away made Sakina think that he didn't mind her following him. She didn't believe that he had decided to take her to Seireitei out of the goodness of his heart, but merely because getting her there would get rid of her. Either way, it suited the lost, helpless little girl very well, because as long as she was shadowing a shinigami, especially one of his size, she would probably not be attacked the rest of the way…


	4. Chapter 3

Thanks again for the reviews! Enjoy the next chapter!

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**Part I**: **Chapter III**

"_When you face the demons in the deep, dark forest, they tend to become your friends_."

As soon as Sakina stepped out of the forest, the blinding light from the risen sun made her bring her arm to block it from her eyes. The area she fled from last night looked so much different in the daytime. There were no fires, no rioters, no yelling, and no violence. It seemed oddly peaceful. It had an air about it, however, that made Sakina uneasy; as if all hell would break loose at the slightest pin drop.

She noticed in her awe of the scenery that she had stopped walking, yet the man escorting her had not. And he walked fast. Sakina jogged to catch up to him, but he made no indication that he even noticed her presence, much less attempting to accommodate her slower pace. She noticed also, as she tried to keep in step with the large shinigami, that she kept receiving confused, disgusted looks from the people around her. Was it because they didn't feel she deserved to be in the presence of a shinigami, or was it because they just didn't like her? Some of the faces looked familiar from last night; especially one old man, who previously brandished a stick at a young boy. He gave her the most disgusted look.

She gulped and grabbed the back of the shinigami's kimono again. He stopped suddenly and turned to look down at her. The one eye that she could see looked at her as if he were just now aware of her presence. She looked up at him and asked, "Why is everyone giving me dirty looks?"

He snorted. "How should I know?"

He continued walking. She jogged up next to him, but still glanced around her, still in awe at the peacefulness of Sector 5, when just a few hours ago it was a war-zone. She wondered if all of Rukongai was like this, and began to understand why her grandmother would insist she stay inside for protection. While flinching from yet another nasty look from a complete stranger, she asked, "Is Seireitei aware of the rioting in Rukongai?"

An annoyed sigh. "Why should they care?"

She blinked. "Aren't shinigami responsible for law and order?"

"So?"

"So wouldn't they try to stop the violence?"

"What a naïve opinion of a shinigami," he muttered.

"How is that naïve? That's what a shinigami is supposed to do!"

"There are far more important things for a shinigami to do than to try to put an end to the petty rioting in this hell hole."

"Like what?"

He snorted in annoyance again. "Do you know _anything_ about shinigamis?"

Admittedly, she knew very little. Her grandmother tutored her mostly in language and maths, but she did talk about Seireitei from time to time. She knew that they were supposed to be the bridge between the living world and Rukongai; they led wandering souls to the afterlife and protected the living universe from the dangerous, unrested souls called Hollows, who feed on living and dead souls. She also knew that the shinigami protect the balance between worlds, from those who would upset it.

But she never knew that they would be so passé about the rioting within Rukongai, simply because it isn't as important as the balance they are supposed to protect. What a horrible promise Nana Kira made Sakina make on her death bed: to become one of these monsters! But of course the best way to solve a problem is to become part of the solution. Sakina said, as strong willed as she could, "When I become a shinigami, I will protect Rukongai."

For some reason, making that vow seemed to ease the dirty looks she was receiving. The people around her began to go about their business, as if she weren't there. It made her feel better, knowing she had a goal to work towards. But her escort just laughed again. "You would deny yourself a better life to protect this hell hole? You are an idiot."

"I am not."

"A weak, naïve idiot who talks too much without backing any of it."

"I am not!" she shouted. He laughed at her. She said, "_You're_ an idiot. Are all shinigami as arrogant and uncaring as you?"

She expected him to attack her. She actually stopped and flinched when he turned around to, again, look down on her. But all he did was grin sardonically. "All I care about is a good fight. If I die tomorrow because of a great challenge, then I will die happily. If all of Seireitei ceased to exist, as long as I went down fighting, I would not care."

She stared at him disbelievingly. "That's all you care about? You have no morals, nothing to strive for, no plans for the future besides a good fight? Are you insane?"

He laughed again and continued walking, with her practically jogging to keep up. "I have been described as such before."

The rest of the journey through Sector 5 was in silence. She could hear the sounds of construction, as the people rebuilt their charred homes or carried water around from one person to another. It looked as if everyone, for a while at least, was working together to repair the damage. It was a pity, then, that come nightfall, the rioting would begin again. She wanted to help, but if she did, the man would not wait for her and she would never get to Seireitei.

Coming back as a shinigami to help them would make up for it…

_

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_

Since she was running through Sector 4 the previous night, keeping sure not to look at anyone or anything along the way, Sakina did not realize how truly horrifying it was to behold; especially in the daylight, where all the dishevelled buildings, dirty faces and smell of blood were magnified. If this truly was Seireitei, if this is what the afterlife looked like, then Sakina could understand why there was such a growing number of Hollows and lost souls.

"Does all of Rukongai look like this?" Sakina asked, offhandedly, waving a hand to indicate the destruction around her, "or just the upper Sectors?"

"Worse," he muttered, barely speaking at all.

He took purposeful strides, not really in a rush, but not leisurely, either. The bells in his hair chimed with every step, making everyone around them to look up; some of them cowered when they passed. Sakina said, "I refuse to believe that a place the living people describe as paradise could look like _this_."

He sighed. "How would the living know what this place looks like?"

"Religions believe the afterlife is a beautiful place," Sakina explained. "They believe that after going through turmoil on Earth, they can achieve eternal rest in Heaven."

"That's ridiculous. It sounds like it came straight out of poetry."

"It's called 'faith'," she retorted, harshly. "It's too bad someone as demonic as you wouldn't know anything about that."

She knew she had struck a chord when he spun around too fast for her to see and grabbed the collar of her cloak. He pulled slightly so she had to stand on the tips of her toes to stay standing. Then, while giving her the most frightening look she had ever seen on man or beast, he huffed angrily in her face and hissed, "Watch your tongue or I'll chop it off."

She swallowed hard and whispered, "I'm not afraid of you."

"You should be. I may not have 'faith', as you describe it, but I do believe in my own strength. I could snap your neck with one hand." He twisted his hand a bit, so he could put pressure on her windpipe with his thumb. It wasn't much, but it was enough to change the fierce look of determination in her eyes to that of absolute fear. Her eyes widened as she quickly grabbed his hand with both of hers in an effort to pull it away. It was a futile gesture, however, as his one hand was almost as big as two of hers. He didn't laugh at that, exactly; it was more like a guttural noise, enhanced by a wide, demonic grin. When he spoke, it was as if he were speaking in her mind. "I thought you weren't afraid of me?"

"I…" She tried to swallow, but couldn't. The lump was blocked by his thumb. She was worried that he wouldn't let her go; that he would carry out his threat and snap her neck, or choke her to death. But after a few antagonizing moments, he practically shoved her away and resumed walking, as if the exchange didn't happen at all.

She fell to her knees to breathe. She didn't know what she was hoping to prove by provoking him; maybe she wanted to believe that he wasn't as evil as he first appeared. But now she knew that was naïve thinking. Of course he was evil. Her best course of action would be to never push that limit again. Or better yet, get away from him as soon as possible. Unfortunately, he was the only way to Seireitei, so she had no choice but to follow him.

She slowly rose to her feet, brushing the dirt from the ground off her knees. When she looked up, the first thing she noticed was that the man had disappeared. Before she could call out, the second thing she noticed was that the two men from last night were a few feet away from her. She spun around and saw the old lady was literally just behind her. "You!" was the only thing Sakina could think of to say to her.

The old lady smiled at her, which Sakina previously took as genuine. Now she knew it was like the eye of a hurricane. This time, there was no mocking; the old lady just raised a hand, ready to snap her fingers, which Sakina knew would make the men now behind her pin her to the ground to mug her again. She took a step back in fear. "Leave me alone!" she sputtered.

_SNAP_!

She cowered, ready for the two men to jump her, but there was no onslaught. She slowly raised her head to look at the old woman. Her aged eyes were looking passed her, with hints of confusion. Sakina turned around slowly to see that her escort had jumped in between her and the two other men. He didn't look at Sakina, keeping his focus on the two in front of him now, but he muttered, quite bored, "You would stand up to me, but as soon as an old lady and two skinny pansies show up, you cower in fear?"

She heard from the other side of his giant-like body that the other men growled in anger at the insult. Sakina kept her eye on the old woman, whose expression had not changed since the shinigami's arrival. Sakina walked up behind him and grabbed his kimono again, pulling herself as close as possible to his warm, strong back. The reiatsu pulsating from his garb gave her courage, but she still felt it would be better to let him handle this situation.

The old woman looked at Sakina and, for the first time, spoke harshly, "You little weakling. You would run to a shinigami because you can't handle an old woman and her two sons?"

Sakina snorted, "You mugged me."

"Did we hurt you?" she asked, sarcastically, knowing full well that she had her sons punch her. "We only took your water. Hardly a 'mugging'."

"You tore up my map. And my picture."

She feigned concern, her next words dripping with the sarcasm Sakina had known too well. "Oh, dear. We thought those were just papers."

She heard the twins laughing slightly on the other side of the shinigami. She gripped his kimono tighter. "Just go away, alright? You already took everything from me."

"That's a pretty dagger you have," the old woman pointed out, quietly but sharply. Sakina had forgotten that she removed it from her pants' pocket and kept it out at her side, so she could reach it in case she needed it. Not allowing her muggers to see it last night most likely is what kept her alive.

"This is _mine_," she snapped. "My grandmother gave it to me on her death bed."

"It will fetch a pretty penny."

The shinigami spoke up, not turning to look at the old woman, "I wonder if such a small weapon could be worth that much, how much more _mine_ would 'fetch' you." Sakina felt, rather than saw, him reach behind him and pull out from behind his kimono a katana almost as long as his own arm. She looked up at it, as he shook off the wrappings used as a sheath. The blade was beaten, cracked and so worn that she doubted it would do much damage. He obviously used it a lot, and did not take as much care with it as other shinigami would their own swords. He also held it in the air for a dramatic amount of time, to not only show it to the men in front of him, but also the women behind him. Sakina noticed the look in the old lady changed from sarcastic arrogance to genuine fear. As ashamed as Sakina was to admit it, she was glad of that look.

There was a silence and a stillness that seemed to last an age. The wind blew, making the bells chime, before the old woman could muster the courage to speak. "My sons! Kill the shinigami! Fear not his blade! Be strong!"

Sakina tugged the kimono, but the shinigami barely noticed. In fact, it seemed as if he barely noticed Sakina at all. He didn't look at her, nor did he speak to her. By the same token, he also neither objected to her yanking his garb, nor did he change his position to get away from her. He simply stood, near motionless, appearing to not even be breathing. And it wasn't until one of the men in front of him decided to brave the warrior that he did anything.

It was too fast to see, but she felt a tremor in his body that told her he had swung his arm. It was a forty-five degree angle; straight down from the sword's position in the air to almost touching the ground. Sakina peered around his massive form to see what had happened, and gasped at the scene. The one twin who had charged him remained motionless for a whole of two seconds and then simply fell over. He was so encompassed with blood that his face was unrecognizable. He barely made a sound as he lay there, dead, at the shinigami's feet.

The only sounds were coming from the second twin, who had stopped moving. He was whimpering, his hands shaking on his sword, which now looked less imposing after what the shinigami had done with his. "M- Maki?" he managed to mutter to his fallen comrade. He then turned his angry face on the shinigami. "What did you do to my brother?!"

Resuming his rigid stance and slinging the excess blood off his katana, the man whom Sakina had such a hard grip on replied, absentmindedly, "That wasn't much of a fight. I hope you can do better."

He shrieked. "You monster! Demon!"

An angry sigh. "I wish people would stop calling me a demon."

The second twin yelled again and charged, blade raised. But even though he had vengeance in his mind, the man was no match for the bored shinigami, who dispatched him in quite the same way as the first; a forty-five degree angle slash, a quick groan as the blood gushed out of his body, and a flop on the ground, almost on top of his brother. And the shinigami quickly slung the excess blood off his blade, before giving his fallen victims a sarcastic scoff.

Then, and only then, did he turn around to face the old woman behind him. Sakina still had a hard grip on his kimono, so she turned as he did, but she still kept an eye peered around him to look at her, now cowering. She looked so different from last night that Sakina, along with feeling fearful and worried, also felt guilty for the perverse pleasure she got from watching those who hurt her get hurt in return. Although she didn't agree with the brutality of the lesson they received.

The first to speak was the woman. "My boys! My sons! My… My…" She ran passed him to her dead sons and pressed her hands to their decomposing flesh. With tears in her old eyes, she demanded, "Was it necessary to kill them?!"

"Was it necessary to mug a weak, pathetic little girl, who clearly posed no threat to you?" The old woman glared at Sakina, as if it were her fault. She hid more behind the shinigami's back, barely looking out now. No one said anything as he wrapped his katana up in the bandages that made his scabbard and put it in its place beneath his kimono on his back. Then he took in one last sigh and said, "Let's go."

He started walking away, but Sakina could not bear to follow him. She let go of his kimono and stared at the bloody scene, dumbfounded. The old woman, whom she previously hated, now wailed over her dead sons' bodies. In that moment, she looked just like Nana Kira. All Sakina wanted to do was apologize, but no words were forthcoming. She was glad that it was over, but the old woman was right: there was no need to kill them. He truly was a monster.

"Oy!" he called from several feet away. "I thought you wanted to go to Seireitei?"

"Why?" Sakina called back, tears welling up in her own eyes. "To become like _you_? To be a mindless killer? Why would I want to be a shinigami now? What horrible people you are! Why would my grandmother make me promise to be like _you_?!"

"I'm sure your grandmother made you promise to be like a shinigami, not like me," he replied.

"What's the difference?"

"I told you before; the only thing I care about is fighting. Most shinigami have morals and ethics and shit like that. They're too uptight, and have far too many rules. You'll fit right in." He started walking again, but as he was going, he added, "Besides, I had no intention of fighting them. They shouldn't have come at me with swords raised."

Sakina looked at the old woman, who glared at her in response. She swallowed, taking her dagger out of her pocket. "Are you going to slay _me_, too?" the woman sneered.

Still sheathed, Sakina handed her dagger to the woman, over the decaying carcasses of her sons. "No, ma'am. I have no words of comfort for you, and nothing I could ever say or do will make up for this bloodbath. But you mentioned that this dagger would fetch a pretty penny, so I hope you take as an apology, at least." She stared at the gift for a few moments, and then quickly snatched it from Sakina's hands. She swallowed. "If you decide to use it to kill me, I will certainly understand."

It looked, for a while, as if the woman was going to take her up on that. She put a trembling hand on the hilt of the dagger, staring at it intently. But in the end, she rose to her feet and put the dagger away in her own pocket. Then she looked at Sakina and smiled, genuinely. "Thank you," she whispered. She bent to pick up her fallen cane, then proceeded to walk passed Sakina and in the opposite direction. "Become a shinigami, if you must," she added, as she left. "Then you can come back and make it up to me."

"I will," Sakina promised. She gasped. "Oh, wait; what's your name?"

The old lady never turned around, but her faint voice carried on the wind to Sakina's ears, "Anjou. I am your late grandmother's sister."

The shock of the answer is what stopped Sakina from calling out to her further. The old lady disappeared into the dust of the Sector, leaving her to stand there, stunned. She whispered to herself, "Nana Anjou. I will certainly make it up to you. And all of Rukongai, too."


	5. Chapter 4

"_Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear_." -- _Ambrose Redmoon_

**Part I**: **Chapter IV**

It took the rest of the day to cross Sector 4. The whole time, not a word was spoken between Sakina and her shinigami escort. She spent that time walking just behind him, staring at his back. Something inside her told her not to get within his eyesight; she didn't want to upset him, because of what he did to those other men. They were no match for him in the first place, yet he basically murdered them for sport. He was not a man to trifle with.

But after she finished talking to Nana Anjou and jogged to catch up with him, he barely grunted to acknowledge her existence before continuing to walk north. He constantly boasted about fighting being his only care and not having morals, but he was, for all his frightening power, at least honourable. He never raised his sword against Nana Anjou, even though she ordered the fight, and he only attacked her sons in self-defence. Sakina would never forgive him for his brutality, but she did feel relieved that he wouldn't hurt her, unless she attacked him directly.

Night began to fall as soon as they crossed the threshold between Sectors 4 and 3. Sakina lived in her home with her grandmother near that threshold, so when they passed the wooden stakes indicating, through symbols, which Sector they were now in, Sakina ran passed the shinigami towards a small, pitiful looking house in the middle of a large field. The main city was farther away, and at night the sounds of rioting drifted across the grass to where she lived, but for the most part, it was a peacefully looking home. She would sometimes, as a little girl, sit on a stool beside the window to watch the wind whip through the grass, and that sight would always make her feel at ease.

Her home was lucky: Nana Kira would often say that most people in Rukongai, if they did have homes, had doors made up of cloth, and would rarely have windows. Her home had both, except that as Sakina approached, she noticed that the sliding door to the entrance was broken. It looked as if someone had kicked it in from the outside. It didn't surprise her, since she left to the sound of someone banging on the door. She stepped over the splintered mess and walked into her home. She took with her everything that she felt was worth keeping, so when she noticed smashed jars, torn papers and upended furniture, she didn't weep. She just looked around a bit solemnly; this was the home she tried to upkeep for her grandmother's sake. Now it was one of the many raided homes in Rukongai. The only thing that was missing was its charred remains. Perhaps her home wasn't worth burning.

She slowly approached some papers that made up one of her textbooks. She knelt down and shuffled them around a bit nostalgically. She learned how to read with this text. Her grandmother would wake her up very early and have her study it until lunchtime, then they would switch to math. Before bed, Nana Kira would tell her stories about Earth or Seireitei. She smiled sadly, a tear rolling down her cheek. Clutching the papers to her heart, she began to wonder if she should go to Seireitei at all. Maybe her true destiny was to do what Nana Kira did; try to tutor the less fortunate in Rukongai. Maybe that was why her home wasn't burned or why her study books were still somewhat in one piece.

A shadow descended upon her small home, so she looked up to see what it was. The shinigami whom she was following decided to follow her into her home. His presence made everything seem darker and colder, especially since the sun was all but gone. She rose to her feet, still holding onto her text papers and walked to a shelf near the back door, which was also kicked in. She rummaged through the shelf and found, to her surprise, a single candle among the wreckage. She took it and walked back to her study room, which was also her living room. She had to stand a table back on its legs, but once that was completed, she put the candle in the middle, in a small hole Nana Kira fabricated just for that purpose. Finally, using a flint she found scattered on the floor, she made a small flame for the candle's wick to pick up, lighting the dimness around her, just in time for the darkness of night.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, sitting down in front of the table and the flame. It didn't produce warmth, which may be a problem later on. But for that moment, Sakina began to feel, for the first time since Nana Kira's death, relaxed. She heard the shinigami, still standing in her home, scoff. "What a pathetic excuse for a house. You lived here?"

Sakina opened her eyes and glared at him. "It's usually in better repair. It was raided when I left."

"It's small," he insisted. "It looks more like a schoolroom than a home."

"My grandmother tutored me since I was a baby."

He looked at the ceiling, which his head was almost touching. "Your grandmother was probably short, too."

"Stop making fun of her!"

"You're short, too," he added, looking at her with amusement. "I can see why you left. Maybe you should find a cave to live in? It would certainly be better than here."

Sakina jumped to her feet in anger. She still clutched her text papers, as if they were a shield that he would not be able to penetrate. "I never asked you to come into my home in the first place!"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't care about this place. And your childish attachment to it and your dead grandmother is rather annoying." He nodded to the papers she had pressed to her heart. "What's gone is gone, and won't be coming back. Holding onto the past is futile. You can't progress by going backwards."

She had no words to retaliate with. The only thing she could think to do was sit back down in front of the candle and stare at the flame in thought. He was right, but she wouldn't admit that out loud. It was the sort of thing her grandmother would say, if she were alive to say it. It was only further proof that looks can be deceiving; just because he liked fighting and nothing else didn't make him unintelligent and without morals. Maybe he wasn't a demon after all.

He looked outside the window, still standing by the door, and said, "Let's go."

"I'm hungry," Sakina replied. "And tired, too."

He sighed and ruffled through the inside flap of his kimono. He pulled out a small sachet. "Oy; here." Sakina looked up and caught what he tossed at her. She dropped her papers in order to hold onto it. She looked at it; a small object wrapped in white bandages. They were tanned a bit, though, and upon unravelling the object, she saw why. It was meat, basically raw, as if it were ripped off an animal and spiced up. It smelled sort of bad, but not unappetizing, though that may have been because she had not eaten or drank anything for more than a day. It was exceedingly juicy, and the meat was practically melting in her hand.

She looked at him and asked, "What about you?"

"I'm not hungry," he said. He took his sword out from behind him and sat down next to the door. He didn't sit cross-legged, and set his sword on the ground so that it rested against his knee and the wall behind him. It didn't look exceptionally comfortable, but Sakina figured it was the safest way a shinigami could sit, so that no one could surprise him should they try to attack. He stared at her, unblinking. It made her uneasy. "Eat," he insisted. "I don't want to hear you complaining later."

Ignoring the smell, Sakina took a tender bite of the meat. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Even the juices seemed to fill her up. If she weren't so hungry, she may have eaten it in a more dignified manner, but instead she ravished it, tearing into it like an animal. She got gravy all over her hands and face, some even on her cloak, but she didn't care. After she was done, she licked her fingers. If Nana Kira saw her, she would have scolded her, but at least now Sakina was full and satisfied.

And all through the meal, the man in the black kimono said not a word, but just stared at her, in disbelief. When she noticed this, she blushed slightly and wiped her face with her sleeve. "Thank you," she said, silently.

He grunted. "And you think _I'm_ a savage."

She smiled; the first one she was able to make in days. And of all people to smile at, she chose him, a man who would most likely cut her throat out if she gave him a reason to do so. She instantly stopped and turned to look out the window, at the appearing stars. The sounds of rioting were starting up again, and instead of them staying far away, like when Nana Kira was alive, the sounds seemed to be getting closer. She quickly glanced at the shinigami, sitting by the door. He seemed to attract danger. He had that personality. Sakina was more afraid of him than ever, but at the same time, she felt safer with him around than her own grandmother.

The shinigami sighed loudly and shifted a bit. He looked at Sakina and muttered, "Now sleep. You said you were tired."

He looked at her until she lay on the ground and curled into a ball next to the table. She longed for her blanket that Nana Kira knitted for her, but since she could not find it when she came into the house, she assumed it was stolen. She feared she would freeze during the night, but at the moment, it wasn't important. Finally lying down, Sakina was overwhelmed by exhaustion and closed her eyes. But before she could fall asleep, she vaguely heard her escort whisper, "Yachiru is going to be worried. I was supposed to be back by now."

She opened her eyes and asked, in what she hoped was a nonchalant way, "Who's Yachiru?" But the shinigami's head was lowered and his eyes were closed, breathing peacefully. Either he truly was asleep, or he was ignoring her. Sakina suddenly didn't feel tired. She watched him sleep for a while before closing her eyes again. She felt confused, not because she didn't know who Yachiru was, but because she was, for some reason, hurt and jealous. She barely met him, hardly trusted him, yet her emotions bubbled inside her until they threatened to burst.

And the only reason why she finally fell asleep was because her body wore itself out keeping it all inside her…

* * *

Sakina did not dream this time. She wasn't asleep long enough to do so. Halfway through the night, her big fear came true: the rioters that she could hear from the main part of Sector 3 did, in fact, make it to her home. They never came when Nana Kira was alive. She could never understand why; maybe she just had that kind of aura. But now Sakina was on her own, with a man who seemed to draw danger toward him, like a magnet. She woke up to drunken laughter and what may have been a battle cry. She was on her feet by the time six grown men kicked the remains of her door away and entered her small home.

Her candle was out, but that didn't matter, because one of the men was holding a torch. Another man, seemingly the leader, stepped in front of the others and stood, purposefully, in front of Sakina, the latter of whom was backing into a broken shelf, in an effort to get away. "What a shabby house," the man taunted. The five others laughed. He glared at Sakina. "Do you live here?"

"What do you want?" Sakina demanded, in an uncharacteristic, tough sounding way, despite her trembling, frightened exterior.

The man before her snarled. "That's not very polite, is it? I asked a question. A little woman like you should be saying, 'Yes, sir! Of course, sir!'"

"You should teach her a lesson, Genki," one of the other five suggested. The remaining four snickered.

The lead man, Genki, grinned evilly. He was pretty much wearing rags, had no visible bulk, and even had no shoes or sandals on. If it weren't for the man holding the torch behind him, casting him in ominous shadows, he would have looked normal. So normal, in fact, that under different circumstances, Sakina would have laughed at him.

But all she could do was cower. She tried to keep the fear out of her face, but didn't succeed. She had one hope of escape: the back door. If she could find a way to get to it, she could run out of the back door. Unfortunately, she was backed into a shelf. Getting to the back door would involve moving and subsequently manoeuvring over the debris of her raided house. She feared if she moved, they would react. And, ever since her first mugging, she always feared the worst when someone reacted.

Genki took a step toward her. "Yeah; insolent women need to be put in their place. And for someone who lives here, she's quite pretty, ain't she, boys?" His companions snickered again.

Sakina gasped. Her fear of being attacked notwithstanding, she was not going to hang around while six men talked about her like that. Normally, being called pretty would be a compliment, but it was the way he said it that made her uneasy, especially since he also talked about putting her in her place. She decided to take the chance of escape; she did not want to get into a fight, and even less liked the idea of rape.

So she hoisted herself out of her cowering position by the shelf and dashed to the hallway leading to the back door. As expected, as soon as she moved she heard Genki shout, "Stop her!" yet was surprised when none of the five men behind him moved. It wasn't until she looked in front of herself that she saw why: apparently, Genki did not have just five followers.

"Where ya goin', Cutie?" a seventh man asked, silkily, from the back door's frame. Sakina stopped running and backed up. Unfortunately, she backed up right into the arms of Genki, who practically dragged her back into the previous room.

"Can't be running away now," he hissed into her ear, as she tried to kick and squeal her way out. His grip was tight, however, and with every struggle, he gripped harder. Soon, she had to stop altogether, because he eventually had her so tight that she couldn't move at all. For a man who looked so weak, he was actually quite strong. Another reason why Sakina had to stop taking things for granted in this world without her Nana Kira.

Remembering about first appearances reminded her that there was an expert swordsman in her home. She couldn't move her head, so she didn't know if he was around or not, but she did not hear him. In fact, if he were around, surely Genki and his gang would have seen him. Still, it was the only idea she had, and even if he had disappeared while she was asleep, maybe it would be enough to make them think twice before attacking her.

She said, voice cracking and shaking with fear, "You better not hurt me. There's a shinigami here."

There was a short silence, which Sakina foolishly took to assume that they believed her. When all seven of them burst out laughing, she closed her eyes in defeat. That was the last ace up her sleeve. Now she was out of ideas and out of luck. Genki stopped laughing first and said, sarcastically, "Sure there's a shinigami here! That's the oldest trick in the book, Girly. I've heard that excuse a million times." He tugged her arm painfully and muttered, "No one is here. Who's going to save you?"

"That would be _me_," replied a bored voice from the corner of her house. It was the only corner in her home that was untouched by the torch's light. It was as encased in shadows as Genki was now. When the shinigami rose to his feet, showing how huge and frightening he was in the dim, ominous lighting, it didn't surprise Sakina that he was able to hide himself in such small amount of darkness; not only was he wearing a black kimono, but his personality was dark enough, too. He even scared her, as much as she was also relieved to see him.

The light of the torch illuminated his face, although that didn't help matters. It only made him look more fearsome. Six of the men in the house started whimpering. One of them scoffed, possibly afraid, but not showing it. "You expect me to be afraid of you just because you can hide in the shadows and stand taller than me?" Genki asked, gripping Sakina so hard that she squeaked in pain.

"No," the shinigami replied. He pointed his unravelled katana at Genki's face. The latter gasped in fright, but still held onto Sakina. "I expect you to be afraid of me because I'm about to slice your head off."

His six followers screamed and started running in innocuous directions, each one running out of either the front or back doors eventually. Genki yelled, "Get back here! It's only one man!"

The one holding the torch dropped it in his haste to run. Since Sakina's home was made of wood, the fallen torch ignited virtually everything around it, consuming her text papers, mementos and anything else Sakina used to use or play with as a child. Everything that used to belong to her grandmother. Everything that brought her joy. Everything from her childhood erupted in flames in front of her eyes. She was so overcome with agony that she didn't notice when the shinigami kept his word to Genki and actually did cut the despicable man's head off.

It, too, was consumed by flames, along with its body. Sakina just stood there, amongst the fire, and watched her past die around her. The smoke from the flames started getting into her lungs, so she bent over to cough. She vaguely felt a very large, tough hand grab her wrist and pull her towards one of the exits of her now burning home. When she reached the clean, fresh air of the outdoors, she continued to cough to get the smoke out of her lungs. The shinigami who saved her by burning down her house still had a grip on her wrist. He didn't let go until she stood up straight and stopped coughing. By then, her home, her grandmother's house, her school, her four walls of protection was reduced to cinders, as the last licks of flame died to a sort of bonfire; an ironically peaceful ending to her life.

With tears in her eyes, she spun around to face the shinigami, who she was irked to notice he didn't care about her house. He sighed, resting his bloody sword on his shoulder. He gave her a very bored, uncaring look, as if burning someone's house down was all in a day's work. She screamed, tears flying, and did what she told herself she'd never do: she walked up to him, pulled back her arm and punched him in his chest. If she had punched solid iron bare fisted, it would have hurt less. But she refused to show any more pain than she already was. "You bastard!" she yelled. "You burnt down my house! You bastard! You evil, heartless bastard!"

"_I_ burnt down your house?" he repeated, amusingly. There was so much sarcastic mirth in his words that Sakina screamed again. "I wasn't the one holding that torch. I didn't drop it, either. Come to think of it, I also didn't break in at night with six friends with the intention of raping you."

"I don't care about that!" Sakina roared. She punched him again, this time crying in pain at the impact. If she focused on that pain, she wouldn't have to worry about the fact that she could never go home again. So she punched him again. And again.

He sighed and grabbed her fist before she could land another hit. She tried to jerk it away, but he wouldn't let go. "You don't care? You sure have strange morals."

"Everything I owned was in that house!" Sakina yelled. "Everything I grew up with! Everything my grandmother taught me, or showed me. My _life_ was in that building! And if it weren't for you, _it would still be here_!"

"Good!" he roared back, "then I'm glad it's gone!" He had never yelled at her before. It calmed her down instantly. She no longer pulled her hand, but instead stared at him, wide-eyed and afraid. "It was only your _past_ that was in that building; everything that was holding you back from your _real_ life. All it did was remind you of things that you can never have back. Now that it's gone, you can get on with life and do the things you were too afraid to do when your grandmother was alive."

He forcefully let her hand go and she backed up. She still stared at him in disbelief, but his words started to sink in. Maybe he was right; maybe all she needed was for her house to burn to the ground before she could cast off the fear of her future and embrace it instead. Maybe that's why Fate left it in near perfect condition when she left: because she had to watch it go down before the lesson truly hit home.

Sakina looked back at her home's charred remains. Instead of feeling relieved that her life was beginning, she actually was more afraid than ever. Now she had no safety net; nothing to come back to if she failed as a shinigami. It was do or die at this point, and that scared her more than getting mugged or attacked or raped all put together.

Her shinigami escort added, "I find it more confusing that you would care about that house instead of the fact that I severed a human head not too long ago." He started wrapping up his bloody sword as he continued, "After that speech you and that old woman gave me about not going overboard when fighting, I expected the first thing out of your hypocritical mouth was a lecture about not cutting heads off. Instead you attack me several times because I caused your house to burn down." He huffed, putting his katana on his back again. Sakina raised her eyes to his guiltily, but offering no apology or explanation in return. He finished, softly, "It's easier to be high and mighty when you're not involved, isn't it?"

She nodded sadly. "I'm sorry," she added, finally. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It seemed like it would be fun, fighting seven guys, but I guess they were too weak for me after all."

She laughed. Against her better judgement, she did it anyway. Not that what he said was funny, but simply, after all that had happened, and watching her house burn down, she really needed to laugh. She laughed and laughed until she started crying. Her soul, as it was, needed to be cleansed, and what better way to do that than to cry her eyes out. She fell to her knees, wailing her heart out, over her grandmother, her home, her past and her future; all her close calls, the memory of being attacked and mugged. She cried for a long time. And, after hours of weeping, the exhaustion of her body, which had not received enough sleep, overtook her and she simply fell over on her stomach, asleep even before she hit the ground.

The shinigami, who had witnessed all of her anguish and neither stopped her nor walked away, looked down at her, sleeping, and muttered, "How annoying. If that's as hard as she can punch, and she cries like that when she's stressed, she won't be a very good shinigami." He walked over to a tree and leaned against it. "Still, she has guts. That'll count for something." He closed his eyes and listened to the crickets chirping, while off in the distance, the rioting continued. For that reason, he didn't fall asleep. If he did, the weakling at his feet would be in trouble again…


	6. Chapter 5

Thank you to **Dokuki** for pointing out that murder is a felony. O_o Who know? :P Here's the next chapter!

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"_For every soul, there is a guardian watching it_." -- _The Koran_

**Part I**: **Chapter V**

This time, Sakina did dream. She dreamt she was surrounded by fire, trying to call for help, but no words were forthcoming. Every step she took was in pain. She could see a light in the distance; the light of the outdoors. If she could make it there, she would be safe. But the fire was relentless. It hurt to move. She could also hear laughter: sarcastic, evil, demonic. She saw eyes in the fire that pierced her soul. She began to shake with fear. She tried to run, but the light only got farther and farther away. Soon the pain was too much; she fell forward.

As soon as her knees and palms hit the ground, the fire around her turned to blood. It covered her, smothering her. She heard the demonic laughing again, exploding in her brain. She covered her ears and screamed, but no sound came out. Or rather, it wasn't heard over the noises of death and destruction around her. The outside light disappeared, leaving her scared and alone in the forest of blood.

But just before she was about to give up, just when all seemed hopeless, a slit appeared in front of her, like the sky was opening, literally. It cut through the blood, and a wave of fresh air enveloped her. _He_ stepped through the slit in the sky; the shinigami. He cut through the blood, her pain, with his sword and stepped through, walking up to her. She tried to get up, but couldn't. So instead, he bent down, grabbed her arm and pulled her up. He didn't say a word; just looked at her.

And shook her. Hard. Repeatedly. She tried to tell him to stop, but couldn't make any sound. It wasn't until she woke up that she was able to shout, "Quit that!"

"It's about time," he said, tossing her back on the ground.

"Ow!" she muttered, getting back on her feet and rubbing her back.

"Let's go already," he replied, walking passed her. She still rubbed her back with her hand as she walked with him. She had to seriously strain herself to keep up.

"Any chance of walking slower?" she asked.

He scoffed. It was a sound she was now used to hearing from him. She barely noticed when he did it anymore. "Weak _and_ slow. How will you ever make it as a shinigami?"

She decided not to retort. She just jogged beside him, as they began to enter much more densely populated areas. The smell of burnt houses was less so in Sector 3 than it was in Sectors 4 and 5. Still, the looks on everyone's faces was enough to tell her that the raids and rioting were hurtful enough. And even though it was morning, she saw no children. Not even a trace of a kid at all. All the adults looked at each other wearingly, and almost no dialogue was spoken between them, unless they were conducting business. Whether it was out of mistrust or it was simply unnecessary, Sakina did not know. But all of a sudden, even though it was her home for three centuries, she started hating Sector 3.

That hate only solidified her vow to come back as a shinigami and make Rukongai a better place. It wasn't fair that all these riots and raids were happening and not a single shinigami cared. What's the point of an afterlife that's worse than real life? Then again, did she really need to be a shinigami to make Rukongai a better place? Her home burned down, yes, but that, at least could be rebuilt. She began to feel a bit selfish; that becoming a shinigami to help Rukongai was more for her own peace of mind than anything else.

Once they stepped into the main part of Sector 3, Sakina started seeing the children. Miserable, thirsty, cold children with seemingly no parents. The adults looked down on them and avoided walking near them. It made Sakina feel bad for them. Even her shinigami escort walked by them, as if they didn't exist. She walked up to a very small little girl, shivering in a dark corner near one of the merchant carts. The little girl cowered at Sakina's approach, whimpering slightly. "I won't hurt you," Sakina vowed silently, keeping her hands out in front of her. "Aren't you cold?"

She shivered in response. Sakina slowly removed her cloak and handed it to the little girl. At first, she flinched, like Sakina was going to beat her with it. But when she saw that the older woman was seriously giving it to her, she snatched it without a word and ran away. She almost ran into the very large, frightening shinigami, but quickly dodged and continued running. Some of the other children saw she had a cloak and chased after her.

Sakina walked back out into the light, a smile on her face. She looked at the shinigami, who only frowned at her. He asked, "You idiot. Why did you do that?"

Sakina looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What are you talking about? The little girl was shivering, so I gave her my cloak. It's called 'generosity'."

"It's called 'incentive'. What do you think is going to happen? That she will live happily ever after because you gave those _other_ kids a reason to chase her and beat her? Good thing we're not going that way, otherwise we'd see her beaten or possibly dead body, and then I'd have to put up with hearing about _that_ from you."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "You always think the worst of people."

"And _you_ have a hopelessly naïve opinion of them. You were mugged mere hours after your grandmother died, almost mugged a second time, and almost raped, just before your home burnt down. If it weren't for me, they would have definitely happened, or possibly worse things. And now you're going to stand there and try to convince me, of all people, that if you're nice to someone it will make everything all better?"

"And how do you know that everyone is like that?"

Scoff. "I used to live in Sector 80 before becoming a shinigami," he muttered. "I know what people are like because I used to think just like them. If you had something I wanted, I'd take it. Simple as that. _Everyone_ thinks like that here. From the youngest little girl who took your cloak without a thank you, to the oldest woman who would mug a lost, defenceless girl. No good deed ever goes unpunished. _Especially_ not in Rukongai!"

"You're wrong!" Sakina yelled. The silence in the Sector deepened, as all heads turned to her, she who was making a ruckus. "You're wrong," she repeated quieter. "You said all you care about is a good fight. What about those who _want_ Rukongai to be better? Not everyone who lives here thinks like you! I don't and my grandmother didn't. And even though you slaughtered her sons, an act of kindness on my part bridged a gap between me and Nana Anjou. That one, tiny, proof is enough for me, and I refuse to let you tell me otherwise!"

"You are the most annoying, naïve idiot I have ever met!" he growled at her, his unpatched eye glowing at her. She did not back down. For the first time since she met him, she stood on real courage, not pretend. She believed in her convictions, that people could become better as long as they realize that someone somewhere cares about them. How dare this monster try to crush that hope?

He started walking again. She followed, just behind him. They passed by more people, more children, shivering and cowering. She then suddenly understood why Nana Kira always told her to stay inside the house when she was alive: it wasn't just for physical protection, but mental and emotional as well. She didn't want her granddaughter to see Rukongai for what it truly was: a poor, helpless wasteland. Maybe Nana Kira hoped to live long enough to see Rukongai get better, so that she could introduce Sakina into _that_ world, instead of having to force her into it as it is now. That may have also been why she made Sakina promise to be a shinigami: because they live better than this.

It was true that becoming a shinigami would help these people out, but she could do so much better if she were one of _them_ and not one of the people who disregard them, thinking they're all mindless killing machines who act on animal instinct and not human reason. She stopped walking, took a deep breath and said, "I have decided _not_ to become a shinigami."

Her escort stopped. Without turning around he replied, "Damn. I was hoping to reach Seireitei before you said that so that I could just walk away."

She blinked. "What? How did you know I'd say that?"

Only then did he turn to look at her. "It was obvious. I knew it was coming since the moment you saw me cut those twins down. Besides that, it's in your nature."

"What is?"

"Taking the easy way out."

She looked at him dumbfounded. "_What_?" she repeated. "Staying to help Rukongai would be a difficult undertaking!"

"Sure it would be," he said, sarcastically. "Living like them and smiling at them every now and then would be _so_ hard. Heaven forbid you should strive to make your _own_ life better. I guess that's what happens when you live under someone else's wing your whole life and have everything you need within arm's reach. It makes you lazy. Your grandmother dies, so instead of staying to tie up loose ends, you run away, because it was easier. Instead of standing up for yourself, you let yourself get mugged because it was easier. Instead of finding out where Seireitei is, you get _me_ to take you there because it's easier. And now, instead of working to make _your_ life better, so that you can be better able to help these hellions, you decide you want to stay here with them _because it's easier_! Are you seeing the picture yet, because my throat is getting sore."

"I don't… That's not… You're…" She stopped talking and diverted her attention to the ground. When it was put that way, it did seem like Sakina preferred the easy route, even though that wasn't what she intended to do. Her grandmother always told her that the hardest path had the best rewards, and Sakina never doubted for a moment that what she was doing wasn't lazy. But he was right. Again. Every decision she made since the instant Nana Kira stopped breathing was the easy way.

It was time to start making the difficult decisions. He was right: become a shinigami first and then come back to restart Rukongai. It was better than sitting with them, accomplishing nothing more than to add another name to the poverty list. Without looking up at him, she started walking again. He stood still until she was beside him, and then actually walked in step with her. He made a noise that started out as a genuine laugh, but died into a sarcastic snort. "You're naïve and _way_ too gullible. You sound like a shinigami already."

"Thanks," Sakina muttered, blushing slightly…


	7. Chapter 6

"_Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset_."-- _St. Francis de Sales_

**Part I**_:_ **Chapter VI**

The upper Sectors of Rukongai were said to be more lawful than the lower ones. So considering the fact that Sector 3 seemed to be getting worse and worse as Sakina walked through it, she shuddered at the thought of what the lower sectors would be like. Every time she saw someone, they either diverted attention or scowled. And every other turn of her head showed her a fight, verbal or physical. One that occurred happened so close to where she was walking that when the larger man clipped the smaller man in his chin with his fist, he flew backward right in front of her path. She jumped in surprise and grabbed the shinigami's kimono unconsciously, not from the back but at his elbow. The man was on his feet and running away faster than when he was punched, so Sakina's instinctual clinging to the strongest thing near her, for protection, only embarrassed her. She let go of his kimono and blushed. He chuckled at her, almost genuinely.

They resumed walking. "Let me as you something," he said, seemingly out of the blue.

"Okay?"

"When you become a shinigami, are you going to cling to your Captain like that whenever something surprises you?"

This time, when he laughed, it was sarcastic. Sakina blushed in anger. "No! When I become a shinigami, I will take care of myself."

"And how is that any different from now?" Before Sakina could reply, he added, "The only things they teach at that school are Kidou magic and fighting techniques. If you can't take care of yourself _now_, they're not going to teach you that _later_."

"I'm sure they taught you well then!" she retorted.

He scoffed. "I didn't go to that academy."

She raised an eyebrow. "Then how are you a shinigami?"

"I was an exception. Seireitei has those, too."

"What; you were so good at fighting that they let you in without even the entrance exam?"

He sighed. "Something like that."

She looked up at him, curiously. He was obviously not telling the whole truth. He said that he hailed from Sector 80; the last and worst place in Rukongai. A reckless fighter, he managed to atone himself just enough to get into Seireitei, bypassing not only the entrance exam but the whole of the academy, becoming a shinigami solely on his fighting ability. Never mind the fact that shinigami were supposed to be balanced warriors, relying not only on fighting skills but also intelligence and wisdom, this man must truly have been an exception after all.

"What's with that look?" he asked, seeing her face from the corner of his eye. Sakina stopped looking at him and stared at the ground. "Ah, stop worrying so much," he said. "It'll eventually make your hair fall out."

She snorted, covering her mouth with the back of her hand to stifle the laughter. She looked up at him quickly and noticed he was grinning. "Can I ask _you_ something?" Sakina asked, still smiling.

"Eh?" He didn't turn his head or really look at her, besides from the corner of his eye.

"Why do you wear an eye patch? Is your eye cut up or something?"

"Nah," he answered, "it was created by the Research and Development Bureau in Seireitei in order to help me hold back my reiatsu."

"Hold _back_? Why would you want to do that?"

He grinned again. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

Admittedly, she didn't know him for very long, but she somehow knew the answer. He valued fighting above all things and was quite demonic about it, yet he wouldn't raise his weapon to a weakling unless it was self-defence. His love for fighting did not extend to them, and killing them would neither be sporty nor worth his time. So if he were to fight with someone his equal or better, in order for the fight to _be_ sporty and fun for him, he would want to extend it for as long as possible. Since among spirits, and especially shinigami, reiatsu determines strength, his is exceptionally strong; Sakina could tell that just by walking beside him. He said that he was holding it back, and she feared what it would be if he didn't. If he were to unleash his full reiatsu, it would probably kill the weaklings and make the strong die too quickly. He would want to avoid that; hence the patch.

She lowered her head again and muttered, "No, I guess I already know why."

"Smart girl," he said, kindly, although it sounded more like a threat. He turned his head slightly, to look at her better. "It's a pity you're so helplessly weak. I would have loved to cut you up."

She raised an eyebrow. That was probably the closest thing to a compliment she could ever get from him. "Thank you, I think."

A ghost of a real smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but then disappeared too quickly for Sakina to know whether it was real or imagined. He turned his attention back to in front of him and the next few hours were, again, walked in silence. It wasn't that she didn't _want_ to talk to him; it was simply that she didn't know what to _say_. For three centuries, the only person she ever spoke to was Nana Kira. Now suddenly she had a friend and didn't know what to do about it.

Wait; did she really think of him as a friend? She looked up at him as they walked. She knew him for scarcely two days. Maybe some friendships could develop out of such little time. Or maybe she was just fooling herself. As soon as they got to Seireitei, he would most likely disregard her and never have anything to do with her. Getting her from point A to point B was the only thing he agreed to do. There was no friendship in that arrangement.

However, he didn't technically agree to do anything, and he could have just left her at any point in time. Instead he went through unnecessary hardships just to protect her, not to mention the morality he bestowed upon her along the way. Those were certainly qualities of friendship, she decided.

But there was something else she felt whenever he was close; some emotion of some kind that she couldn't figure out. She felt a wave of heat every time she touched his kimono, which at first she attributed to his subconscious reiatsu. She felt like she couldn't breathe every time he laughed, whether sarcastically or otherwise. Her mouth dried up whenever she saw him grinning, especially at her. And most of all, whenever he turned to look at her, she felt a shiver up her spine, even though she wasn't cold. His eye looked deep into her soul, as if holding her prisoner, and try as she may, whenever he fixedly held her gaze, she could not break it; not until he did first. And in the meantime, small tremors would crawl around her skin, making her warm and tingly.

Those were certainly _not_ qualities of friendship. But if not, what were they? Fear? No, that wasn't it; when Sakina was afraid, her body would feel cold, not warm. And since fear brought adrenaline, she would also gain a momentary sharpness in her mind. These unknown emotions, feelings, distracted her, making it difficult to form simple sentences, much less think clearly. She didn't know whether these were normal feeling after meeting new people or not, but she was sure that they normally couldn't have been this strong after only knowing him for two days.

She looked at his arm, barely swinging beside him as he walked. Another emotion bubbled up under the reason of her mind. It slowly ate away at her, embedding itself within her subconscious without her knowing it. It soon became a part of her, as much as breathing or her heart beating. Her brain kept trying to determine what the meaning behind the emotion was, but thinking about it merely made the emotion more powerful. It was unfamiliar, frightening, but gave her a sort of strength she never knew she had. The emotion embezzled in her brain began to open her mind's eye and replay some of her memories to her: his hand on her neck, his thumb on her windpipe, his grip on her wrist as he carted her out of her burning home. The numerous times she grabbed his kimono for protection and the warmth of his reiatsu coming from it. The emotion very badly wanted him to touch her again, or, if that was not possible, for her to touch him.

"Oy!" she heard him shout. She shook her head vigorously, getting herself out of her thoughts and back into reality. She looked at him and shiveredunder his gaze. He looked angry, but Sakina decided he always looked like that. She also realized that they had stopped walking. For how long, she couldn't guess. These unknown emotions were distracting her again. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing; I'm fine," she quickly said. He looked at her with an eyebrow raised in disbelief, but didn't object to it.

Instead, he said, "I asked you three times if you were hungry or not."

If he had not brought it up, she wouldn't have noticed how much her stomach growled. She instinctively rubbed it. "Yeah, I guess I am."

He handed her a rice ball. Apparently, it was in his hand the whole time they were stopped, though she never noticed it until that moment. She looked at it, but didn't take it. Instead, she looked up at him and asked, "What about you?"

He snorted. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't believe that. You haven't eaten anything since I met you."

"Have you been conscious every moment since you met me? There were three instances in which you were asleep." She blushed angrily and lowered her gaze. "Just eat it, alright?"

The last part made her look up again. It sort of sounded like concern, mixed in with his usual sarcasm. She took the rice ball out of his hand and nibbled a bit at it. "Thanks," she muttered, meekly. They continued walking. She didn't look at him the whole time she was biting through the rice ball. She was grateful, also, that he decided to walk in step with her, instead of the other way around. It put less of a strain on her legs.

When she was finished, and wiped her hands on her pants, which were dustier now that she didn't have her cloak, he spoke up again, "What was so special about that picture?"

"What picture?"

"You said that when the old woman mugged you she tore up your picture. What picture? Some kind of family member or something?"

She stared at the ground. "Why would you wait so long to ask that?"

"Just something I was thinking about since your home burnt down." She grimaced at that memory. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and added hastily, "Sorry. It's just that there were a lot of other stuff in that house you _could_ have brought with you, but didn't. Why a picture? What's so great about it?"

"It's, um, it wasn't all that great."

"What was it?"

"Nothing special." He could see her blushing, but she was turning her head to watch a grasshopper instead of looking at him. "Just something I drew for Nana Kira."

"What was it?"

She shrugged dismissively. "I drew it when I was still very young. Nana Kira said it was the greatest thing anyone ever gave -"

"_What was it_?!"

"A butterfly," she answered, finally, seemingly not noticing his rise in voice. She shrugged embarrassingly again. "I like butterflies."

He blinked. "Why?"

"My home is in the country. When I was little, especially during the spring, flowers would grow everywhere. Sometimes, a butterfly would flutter in through the window and sit on my knee. It was the only thing in Rukongai that ever came into the house. It was like a connection to the outside world."

He made a disapproving noise. "That sounds like poetic nonsense."

She glared at him, her embarrassment gone. "Don't blame _me_ if I don't have the same bleak outlook on life as you do!"

"The only people who talk like that are weaklings and philosophers. And people like _me_ are the ones who beat them all up! Haven't you ever heard of the phrase, 'Survival of the fittest'?"

"Haven't _you_ ever heard of the phrase, 'The meek shall inherit the earth'?"

He turned to grin at her sardonically. "After the strong are finished tearing it up by battling with each other, do you really think the earth will be _worth_ inheriting?"

Her glare turned into impressive awe. But before he could retort on how she lost yet another argument, she decided instead to say the first thing that came to her mind, "_That_ sounded like a philosophy. Maybe you're not as strong as you say you are."

She expected him to attack her, but he didn't. Instead, he laughed, loudly, and patted her shoulder in what he probably thought was a friendly way, although it hurt and almost made Sakina fall to the ground. The emotion that drilled into her brain flared up, but it was gone as soon as he took his hand away, leaving Sakina with a sort of empty feeling. He said, "Nice comeback! Now if only the rest of you was as strong as your mouth."

It may have been his idea of a compliment, but the way he said it made her uneasy. She looked at him curiously, but he had again put his attention on the road. Sakina raised her right hand to grip her left arm, in a gesture of uncertainty. She asked, "When, um, are we going to get to Seireitei?"

"Another day or so."

"Ah." She didn't look at him, but she could feel his eye burning her neck.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, uh, no reason."

He scoffed. "You're a poor liar." She didn't reply to him. He sighed; not in annoyance, but with some other emotion. "You'll see me around, if that's what you're worried about."

She looked up at him, with a quick gasp. His eye bore into hers. He grinned when he realized his guess was correct. It was more shocking to the young woman how he was able to see right into her soul and dredge up exactly what she was feeling, even if she didn't know she was feeling it herself. "I would suggest we could walk slower," he added, "but I was supposed to be back long before now. Any slower and I would get into trouble."

She tried to change the subject; keep things off of potentially dangerous topics. She asked, "Why were you even in Rukongai? I thought you didn't care about these people."

"I don't," he replied. "I was chasing a Hollow. My commanding officer told me to go, so I went."

"And you won, I take it."

He grinned. "Of course. No Hollow could ever beat _me_." He sighed. "Still, it would have been better if it put up more of a fight. The worse it did was tear up part of my uniform." She quickly looked him over, but didn't notice so much as a loose thread on his black, shinigami kimono. She sighed to herself and decided that it didn't matter that much. "What are you daydreaming about now?"

She looked at him and then turned away. "I'm _not_ daydreaming."

"Oh? You always get that look on your face when you're off in your own little world."

"What look?"

"The one where you sigh and close your eyes halfway."

She blushed and focused her attention on a distant house. "I didn't know you were watching me that much."

"Just something I noticed out of the corner of my eye."

"Besides, we haven't known each other long enough for you to know what I _always_ do."

"Tsk tsk. My, what a tongue you have. Too bad your grandmother couldn't teach you respect."

She stopped walking and glared at him. He stopped and turned completely around to face her head on. "Stop making fun of my grandmother," Sakina warned, silently.

"Or what?" he tested, grinning quite broadly. She breathed angrily, but had no way to answer. She said it to sound brave, but truly, even if she wanted to attack him, she'd just end up hurting her hand again. So instead, she just crossed her arms and said nothing. He replied, with a slow, rumbling voice, "See, I like that look much better; angry eyes, pursed lips, killing intent. It suits you much better."

She raised an eyebrow. "Killing intent? I don't have that."

"Really? If you had the chance, you wouldn't kill me?"

"No!"

"What if I was attacking you? Then would you kill me?"

Her look changed in an instant to fear. Her eyes widened with each word. "You're not going to attack me, are you?"

He snickered evilly and grabbed collar of her shirt. He leaned in next to her ear and whispered, voice filled with killing intent, "You shouldn't get too comfortable being around me. If you're naïve enough to think we could ever be friends, then I might just kill you after all."

He pulled back only slightly, so his face was in front of hers. She didn't move, save for her shivering in fear. He regarded her for a moment, keeping her gaze on him, as much as she wanted to break free of it. Then he suddenly grinned in a friendlier manner and said, "I like that look, too." After which he let her go and laughed, sarcastically, as he continued walking down the road.

Sakina felt many different emotions during and after his threat. The unknown emotion in her mind was too overcome by her fear to really do anything, but now that it was over, it started making itself known. It made the coldness of her body, wrought with fear, warm up; it replaced her adrenaline with a sort of calmness. And all the while, she wondered to herself how that emotion could blatantly ignore what just happened. Maybe it knew she was never in any real danger; that man seemed to like instilling fear in people. It probably kept him from becoming a mindless killing machine, like a Hollow.

"You coming?" he called, from ahead of her. He didn't turn around, just called. And it wasn't her, but that emotion, that made her feet move to follow him…


	8. Chapter 7

"_Fear not for the future, weep not for the past_." -- _Percy Bysshe Shelley_

**Part I**_:_ **Chapter VII**

It was getting closer and closer to nightfall, yet they still had such a long way to go. They were still in Sector 3, for one thing. Although they were also nearing Seireitei, the massive rioting in other Sectors, which would normally start now, didn't occur where they were. At least, not while the sun still had some light left. She did, however, see some shifty characters run around, but they neither attacked anyone nor tried breaking into homes. And she could not smell fire.

"Too bad I couldn't live in _this_ neighbourhood," Sakina muttered to herself.

"Just because the raiding hasn't happened _yet_ doesn't mean it won't."

She huffed. "You're a very pessimistic man."

"It's the reason I'm still alive."

She looked up at the setting sun. It seemed to be going down faster with every step they took. She never felt afraid when the sun was up, and now that the darkness of night was slowly creeping up to her, as some people lit torches outside their homes to keep the street illuminated, she felt fear again. But not so much as before, now that she was walking beside a shinigami. The warmth from his reiatsu reached her and kept her from hiding in the closest alley.

She said to him, "You can see the best in people and still be cautious at the same time, you know."

"I've heard people talk like that before," he allowed. "Do you know what happened to them?"

She sighed in annoyance. "I'm going to assume you've killed them all."

"No," was his answer. At first it surprised her, but then she realized the real answer even before he said it. "That is the sputtering of weaklings, and I have no need for them. But I did watch them as they were killed by others stronger than them."

"I refuse to believe that everyone who thinks like that ends up dead!"

"_You_ think like that, don't you? If it weren't for me, don't you think you've ended up dead numerous times?" She didn't reply. She saw him nod in the direction of a young man, possibly a teenager, in the distance between two decrepit houses. "Take that boy, for example. I will bet you anything he is going to attempt to ambush us."

She looked at him curiously, but all he did was root through someone's garbage. He looked pitiful, hungry, scared, and cold. Sakina doubted he would do anything except fall over from malnutrition. She looked at her shinigami friend and scoffed. "How do you know _that_, sir?"

He grinned. "I'm far more observant than you." He continued before she could reply. "Every now and then he looks in our direction, and he had been following us ever since I gave you that rice ball. He's obviously hungry, and people who are ruled by their stomach tend to do stupid things."

_Which could explain why he claims to never be hungry himself_, Sakina thought. She insisted, "But he's just a boy who looks like he'll die any moment. Why would he attack a shinigami?"

"He's not going to attack _me_," came the dark, but wise answer. Sakina hardly had time to ponder it fully when she felt something yank at her arm. It was so unexpected that it caused her to fall over on her butt, but she couldn't recover in time for the feeling of a dull, cool blade at her throat. All the while, the shinigami did not move and only just now turned his head to look at the fallen girl being held prisoner by a desperate, hungry boy.

She was staring at the boy right up until she fell over. She didn't see him move. Was he really fast, or was there some other explanation? But she didn't have time to think about that, either, because the boy pressed his short blade closer to her neck. If she moved, she'd cut herself. Both the frightened eyes of the girl and the shaky, desperate eyes of the boy looked at the shinigami, who looked down on them and did nothing. The boy said, "I really don't want to hurt anyone, so just give me the food you've got and I'll be on my way."

The shinigami grinned a bit and said, "Now if you were on your own, how would you get out of _this_ mess?"

"Don't ignore me!" the boy yelled, shifting the blade more over her larynx, causing the dull edge to scrape her slightly. It didn't make her bleed, though; it was more like a painful scratch. But she didn't doubt that if he wanted to cut her, he would succeed.

He raised his hands in mock defeat. "Sorry, kid. I'm all out."

The boy started breathing heavily. He was obviously afraid, but was trying not to show it. Instead he said, steadying his voice, "Then give me your sword. And don't try to attack me with it! I can use my reiatsu to back up faster than you can swing!"

_That's how he got to me before I saw him move_, Sakina thought. She kept perfectly still, staring at the shinigami, pleading silently for him to do something, anything, to save her. But he didn't move. Not even to get his katana. He said, "You sure you can get away before I get you?"

He jerked his blade a bit, this time causing a very small amount of blood to trickle down her neck. "You sure you want to try anything when I have the upper hand?"

"Do you?"

The little boy frowned. "You don't scare me, shinigami. You don't even have your sword in your hand!"

"I don't need that to kill _you_."

The teenager lowered his blade ever so slightly. Not enough to no longer make it a threat, but just enough to show Sakina how afraid the boy truly was. But still the shinigami did not move. He just stood there, grinning. Sakina also noticed, with each passing second, how hot it was getting, even though it was night time. The air was getting staler and it was starting to feel like her body was getting heavier and heavier. The boy felt this as well, and lowered the blade right to the ground, as he tried to catch the breath that the air was taking away. And it wasn't until Sakina's blood started bubbling that she realized what was happening: all the reiatsu that her shinigami friend said he was holding back was now coming forward. How much did he have that made the very air crackle?

He, of course, was completely unaffected. He slowly walked up to them, now fallen over by the weight of the reiatsu. Sakina was lying on her side, gasping, while the boy was on all fours, not as affected by it as she was, yet he could not do anything besides pant. His small blade was discarded farther away. When the shinigami was in front of him, his katana drawn and pointed at the boy's face, all his previous resolve was gone. "I'll tell you what," said the shinigami. "If you can reach up and grab this blade, I'll let you keep it."

"Don't play with me!" the boy said, fearfully.

"Why don't you use that fancy reiatsu you claim to have and quickly get out of here, before my generosity wears out?"

"I… Can't…"

"I'm sure you can if you try." His mocking tone actually made the little boy raise his head to look at him.

"Don't play with me!" he repeated.

The shinigami thrust his sword into the ground just next to the boy's head. The fear of almost being speared made the boy fall on his stomach, unable to lift his head to make eye contact. "Would you like to see just how much reiatsu I have?" he asked, dangerously.

"Just leave me alone, alright? I'm sorry! I won't bother you again."

"Good boy," he mocked, and in a split instant, stopped his reiatsu from pouring out of him, making the air cool down and breathable. As soon as he was able to get back to his feet again, the teenaged boy quickly disappeared, leaving the young Sakina, unconscious, next to his small dagger.

The shinigami looked around, to take in the damage his reiatsu had caused. Some houses that had windows with draperies were ripped, and everyone on the street nearby were getting to their feet as well, then scurrying away. Some houses had splintered wood, and others, in horrific repair, actually broke down. He scoffed amusingly. "Rukongai is pathetic. In Seireitei, the houses would still be standing."

He looked down at the unconscious Sakina. She was breathing normally again, with beads of sweat on her face and bare arms. He knelt down next to her. With the hand that was not holding his katana, he brushed aside her shoulder-length hair to look at the cut on her neck. It was barely anything and had already clotted. Nevertheless, he wiped the excess blood away with his thumb and sighed. "_You're_ pathetic," he whispered to her. "You're unconscious and I didn't even use a fraction of my reiatsu to do it."

He sheathed his sword not under his kimono on his back, but at his side, using his sash to hold it in place. Then he grabbed Sakina by the nape of her shirt and hoisted her sleeping body to her feet, but instead of shaking her awake, he practically tossed her on his back, and then adjusted her so she would be able to lay comfortably there. He put her arms around his neck and grabbed her hands to steady her there. Her head rested in the crick of his neck, and he could feel her softly breathing on him.

Then he sighed and continued walking. The sun had completely disappeared, but there were no sounds of rioting. His display of reiatsu may have stopped that. He grunted and muttered, "I'm glad you're not awake. I don't need you to rub it in."


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes**: Apologies for the ridiculously long wait! My main computer broke down so I am reduced to using my laptop. Which isn't all that bad, but my laptop is not equipped with the resources needed for story writing... Until now! Please enjoy the final segment of Part 1. I am still in the process of writing Part 2, but I have some of it done, so I can post as I go. Either way, thank you for all the reviews, and I hope to see you in Part 2!

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"_Do not tell the man who is carrying you that he stinks_." -- _African Proverb_

**Part I**: **Chapter VIII**

When Sakina dreamt this time, there were no images; just feelings. She felt warm then cold, afraid then just tired. Her neck felt itchy, but she couldn't scratch it. She remembered getting cut, but her mind refused to replay the instance. Instead, it replaced the memory with a feeling of suffocation. Her throat wouldn't open, her lungs wouldn't expand; the hot, prickly feeling of being in a desert for too long, while carrying way too much weight on her shoulders. The feeling of thirst, but no water.

Then, in an instant, her mind gave her the feeling of relief. A cool breeze on her face, the weight lifted, the thirst gone. As she slept, she felt restored, yet her mind still refused to display images, only the feelings; so she decided to wake up.

She tried to lift her hand to her eyes, to rub out the sleep, but found she couldn't. She tugged, but it was like her hands were in a vice. They simply would not move. After blinking the sleep away a few times, she realized why: her shinigami friend was carrying her on his back, and held her hands in order to keep her there. Any unconsciousness left in her, or remaining sleep in her eyes, were gone in an instant. She felt like she was afraid, but that wasn't exactly correct. More like confused, at how even he was strong enough to carry her for however long she was unconscious. And even that wasn't exactly right. Her mind was a swirl of emotions, one melding into the other, leaving her to ponder everything at once and yet nothing at all.

"So you're finally awake?" he asked, softly.

She felt like asking a million things, but couldn't make the words form properly. So she ended up just asking the stupidest thing of the million, "How long was I asleep?"

His big, broad, heavy shoulders shrugged, despite the weight of the woman on his back. "A few hours. We're halfway through Sector 2 now."

"_What_? That far in a few hours?"

"You just walk slowly. This way is faster."

She then noticed how fast he really was walking. It was almost jogging pace; every step of his would equal about five of hers, and of course each step was made faster than any amount of steps she could take. Every time his foot hit the ground, it made the sword by his side softly tap against her leg. She also noticed he was holding her hands with his left one, to keep his right hand free in case he needed to draw his blade.

Most of Sector 2 was grassland; since there were almost no buildings, the light from the moon and stars shone brighter, making the area look picturesque. She could see fireflies everywhere, adding to the light. It was such a different place from the countryside in Sector 3 that she lived in for so long. She sighed softly and said, "I wish I could have lived here. It looks better at night than my old home."

"You wouldn't want to live here," he replied.

"Why not?"

"There are no butterflies."

She felt herself blush, but that wasn't as surprising as the fact that she actually giggled. It wasn't a really funny thing he said, but it seemed like the right thing to do in reply. She felt herself instinctively nestle closer to his neck, savouring the warmth that came from her skin touching his.

Instinct? Suddenly, as if a veil had fallen from her mind, she understood that the unknown emotion that had edged its way into her brain wasn't an emotion at all, but an instinct! Something she had had inside her for the whole of her life, but never made itself known until she met the man under her. Something that told her what she needed to do and how to do it, regardless of whether she knew what she was doing or not. It was an instinct, just as not touching a burning candle or eating to survive are instincts. It was something that she had in her that traced itself all the way to the first of her ancestors; it was an instinct that kept her species from dying off.

Of course, knowing what it _was_ didn't help her know what it _meant_. And the sudden knowledge she received made her jerk her head away, as if his skin was made of acid. She didn't know why that instinct would wait until he, of all people, came along, but she was determined to keep it in check. It was distracting, for one thing, and it seemed to ignore the very basics of who he was: a man so obsessed with fighting and killing that he would endanger _her_ just to get that point across.

But even still, she knew her resolve was not so great. And when the instinct stirred in her mind, it seemed to take complete control of all her thoughts. For example, all she could think of at that point was how he had her hands clasped in his, almost right against his chest, and when he took a step, every now and then her hand would brush his skin. She felt her mouth go dry. "Are you daydreaming again?" she heard him ask, as if he were speaking from very far away.

"Huh?" she said, stupidly. "Oh, uh, no. Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing important."

"Hmm." He kept his eye on the road, never turning to look at her. With every second that elapsed, she tensed up more and more, which only made riding on his back more and more uncomfortable. The unholy instinct in her mind wanted her to touch him again, but she didn't dare. It was beginning to hurt. He cleared his throat, a noise that sent shivers up Sakina's spine. "Are you awake enough to walk on your own?"

She almost felt insulted, but that confused her. Instead she just replied, "I thought you said this way was faster?"

"I thought it would be," he explained, "but for some reason you keep squeezing my neck tighter and tighter and I'm finding it very difficult to breathe." She gasped and loosened the pressure of her arms, at the same time that he let go of her hands, making her drop to the ground and stumble to keep standing. She looked at him as he rubbed his neck. "Much better."

"Sorry!" Sakina said. She hadn't realized how tense she really was and never thought for a second that she was tightening around his neck.

She also watched him stretch out his shoulders and back. "You're a lot heavier than Yachiru." He continued walking.

Sakina stood still for a moment. There was that name again: Yachiru. Who was he? Or was it a she? That person who would be worried that he was gone so long. That person who also rode on his back. That person who was waiting for him back in Seireitei. That person who evoked jealousy and hurt within the deep, dark corners of her heart. And despite feeling the way she was feeling, Sakina couldn't understand why, after telling herself that she would never give into that instinct, she would instead give into an emotion she had no right to entertain. What he did in _his_ private life, with whomever, was none of her business. He was taking her to Seireitei, and that was that.

Yet she couldn't move her feet. She felt unwanted tears well up in her eyes, so she stared at the ground in order to hide them. She heard a voice call, "What's taking so long? Let's go."

"Who's Yachiru?" her mouth asked.

"Why do _you_ care?"

Her shoulders shrugged nonchalantly, while her head stayed down. "Just wondering."

He sighed. "She's a little girl who follows me around."

Her first thought was '_she'_. Yachiru was a girl after all. But her second thought, '_little'_, brought her senses back to her. She looked up confusingly, forgetting her tears. "Little girl? Is she your daughter?"

He scoffed angrily. "Moron. If she was my daughter I would have said that. She's a little girl who follows me around."

"Why?"

He frowned at her. "You're being very nosy." She almost apologized, but then he continued, "I found her in Sector 79. She was scarcely a baby; no home, no parents, no name. She wasn't afraid of me and started following me." He shrugged. "I suppose she's the only person who truly understands me."

"Oh." The hurt and jealousy she felt was replaced with embarrassment. She lowered her head again, but this time to hide her crimson face. "Sorry."

"Sorry for what? Quite daydreaming and let's go." He turned back to the road and continued walking. This time, Sakina did follow him. It took quite a few steps before she was able to catch up with him, and by then he had slowed down to keep in step with her.

After almost half an hour of silence, Sakina found the courage to speak with him again. "So if Yachiru follows you around, why isn't she here now?"

"I was chasing a Hollow. I told her to stay behind."

She smiled in spite of herself. "I knew there had to be _something_ other than fighting you cared about."

He snorted disapprovingly. "And why is this realization so important to you?"

She looked up at him. "Because it makes you human."

He didn't say anything for a while, and then made a noise that sort of sounded like, "Hmm," only more guttural. Sakina took this as a sign that she reached him somehow. But then he grinned sarcastically and said, "I thought you said I was a demon?"

She smiled wider. "Maybe both."

He glanced at her quickly and then looked away. He nodded toward something in the distance. "We'll be at the gates of Seireitei shortly."

Looking beyond, Sarah could see the very faint outline of the white tower in the centre of the Court of Pure Souls; a landmark she knew from the stories of Seireitei her grandmother would tell her. Judging from the distance and the speed that they were travelling now, Sakina calculated that they would get there when the sun was high in the sky.

It seemed so close to her, though; so official. And all the difficulties of becoming a shinigami came flooding to her, causing a small opening of doubt to wedge itself into her confidence, making her question whether she was ready to fulfill her grandmother's promise yet or not. A few other things came to light within her that she previously ignored, yet would mean the difference between going into Seireitei or not. One of the most important of those things was the Academy Entrance Exam. She did not research, and therefore did not study, about what to expect on that test. She would end up failing before she even began, making this whole trek futile.

She groaned in defeat. "What's wrong?" her friend asked, not really with concern, but with boredom; like he was using her problem to fill the silence.

"I don't know how to do the Entrance Exam."

"Don't worry about it."

"But if I fail, I won't get into Se -"

"I said don't worry about it, so don't worry about it," he snapped. Although a few days ago she would have taken that personally, this time it hardly fazed her.

"You're not really a morning person, are you?"

He sighed. "I barely had any sleep in almost three days."

Suddenly her problem seemed petty. "Oh. Sorry."

"Stop apologizing for every little thing."

"Sor -" She stopped. She looked away, to hide her embarrassment. This time, however, he didn't say anything to her; didn't even utter a sarcastic noise. He did take a deep breath in, which Sakina attributed to an effort to stifle a yawn. What she really wanted to do was tell him that it was okay to show a little weakness now and then, but she didn't dare make fun of him while he was in a cranky mood.

Instead she just walked beside him, through the rest of the early morning, until the sun finally started coming up. By the time its rays started to reach her face, and the birds started waking up, Sakina realized that she had been wrong: Seireitei was much closer than she thought. They walked over a bit of a hill, so they could look down upon the gate that protected Seireitei from Rukongai. Still, the white tower in the centre of the Court looked so far away. Was Seireitei really that big?

"Come on," the shinigami ordered, and so they made their way down the hill to one of the streets that led up to the gate. It was still fairly early, so most people were in their homes. Homes, by the way, that looked big and well-built; a far cry from all the other buildings she had seen along the way. There were no rioters and what little people there were on the street actually smiled and greeted people friendlily. There was quite a bit of lawfulness in the area of Rukongai right next to Seireitei. Sakina figured that was to be expected, considering it would be easy for a shinigami to reach them if they caused trouble. And when she and her shinigami escort made their way up the street, the people who saw him smiled and waved. He ignored them, of course, but at least it meant that shinigami do come through Rukongai occasionally.

The gate got larger and larger as they approached, until they were so close to it that it blotted out the sun. Nana Kira would sometimes tell Sakina that along the gate, there are four ways to get passed it, and each entrance is guarded by an appointed gatekeeper. But as she followed the shinigami to one of those entrances, she did not see a gatekeeper. It didn't make sense until he walked to the door and it began to rise, despite him not touching it, or a gatekeeper opening it. Apparently, established shinigami were allowed to enter Seireitei unobstructed, which, of course, made perfect sense upon thinking about it.

"Come on," he urged her, when he noticed that she had stopped just outside.

"Um, I'm not allowed in there yet," she explained. "I didn't even take the entrance exam!"

He sighed angrily and instead of trying to convince her to do what he said, he walked up to her, grabbed her wrist painfully and yanked her inside Seireitei. As he was half-dragging her across the beautifully kept tiles that made up the streets in Seireitei, he muttered, "I am _not_ in the mood to play games with you. I told you _not_ to worry about that damned entrance exam!"

"S-Sorry!" she huffed, trying to keep up with his ridiculously fast pace. He walked along the gate that separated them from Rukongai, until he came across a very small office, with a sign overhead that read, 'Shinigami Academy Registration'.

He stopped in front of the desk and let Sakina go. She rubbed her wrist, mostly to get the feeling back in it. He had gripped so tightly that her hand went numb. The shinigami behind the desk looked from Sakina to the larger man confusingly, with an eyebrow raised, hoping to get an explanation before he even said a word. Her escort said, plainly, "Register her for the Academy and then find her a dorm room."

The receptionist stared blankly at him, his unkempt hair blocking his eyes. When he realized that the shinigami before him was serious, he cleared his throat and started rummaging through some papers on his desk. Then he asked Sakina, in a fairly smooth voice, despite his large physique, "And your name is?"

"Uh, Hiroki Sakina," she replied. Her shinigami friend looked at her oddly.

But the receptionist said, "Hiroki… That's not a noble name." He looked through some papers, more and more confused, then finally asked, "Did you even write the entrance exam?"

"Uh…?"

Her friend snarled and slapped his hand on the man's desk, frightening him enough to drop the papers he was holding and emit a very high-pitched yelp. "I don't think you heard me: register her for the Academy and then find her a dorm room."

"Y-Y-Yes, sir!" the receptionist squealed. "Right away, sir! No problem, sir!" He waved his hand to Sakina. "Follow me, please, ma'am!"

He gathered his papers up in a very messy way, then bustled around his desk and walked passed them, heading in the direction of the tall, white tower. It seemed odd to her that the receptionist would do what the shinigami wanted, just by showing some annoyance. After all, she didn't write the exam, nor was she of noble blood. Was it not a major breach of rules to make her such an exception? She didn't want him to get into trouble later.

"Finally, now I can get some sleep," her friend muttered, pushing her back slightly to get her walking in the direction of the man behind the desk. She took a big gulp and walked on, her feet clicking on the tiles. She was here. She was in Seireitei. And she got in without the entrance exam, something she would most likely have failed if she had done it. And it was all thanks to the shinigami she accidentally bumped into along the way. He saved her from many things, not just physical ones. If it weren't for him, she never would have made it this far.

And she also realized she didn't thank him. She turned around and was about to say it, but then he said, "Oh, by the way; you have a ridiculous name."

She frowned. Her grandmother gave her that name, saying it was in honour of her own mother, who protected her in the same way Nana Kira always did Sakina. She sneered, "My name is just fine. What's _yours_ then, you -" But he was gone before she could finish the sentence. She began to think that she should have asked him much sooner, but decided it was better this way. When she gets into the hustle and bustle of Academy life, she will forget about him. He said that she'd see him around, but she doubted that. He was, after all, just a shinigami. What were the chances that among the countless hundreds of shinigami, she would ever see him, specifically, again?

She started walking after the receptionist again, and as she did so, the newfound instinct that journeyed with her and her shinigami friend told her that her thinking was naïve; it was only the beginning of their relationship…


End file.
